


You  Can Hear It In The Silence

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Only a tiny sprinkle of angst, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Zayn and Liam didn't have to say anything at all and the one time they did anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You  Can Hear It In The Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! This is actually my first ever published work so I'm a little nervous, but while listening to Taylor Swift's new song You R In Love I just new that I had to write this and share it with all of you guys.
> 
> A special thanks to Chrisi who literally sat with me and went through this one sentence at a time checking for any fuck ups on my part, there still might be one or two, sorry!

**_One look, dark room, meant just for you_ **

Liam doesn't really want to be at this party, and he’s pretty sure everyone around him can tell with how they’re all basically pretending that he’s not even there in the first place. Bodies grinding all around him making the already stuffy room even warmer, causing him to tug at the collar of the shirt Harry forced him to wear. 

Liam isn't necessarily anti-social, he loves a good party every now and then. He enjoys the conversation and meeting so many new and interesting people, but just something about tonight made the very idea of a party the most exhausting thing in the world, but Harry had barged into his room—he knows Liam hates when he doesn't knock but he always does it anyway—spouting some crap about a “Friendship Honor Code: Friends don’t let finds obsess over a movie trailer on a Friday night when they could be out trying to get laid.” 

He probably did have a point, but this wasn't just any trailer he was obsessing over, it was the _Avengers: Age of Ultron_ trailer! After being snubbed at Comic-Con earlier that year the footage was finally out and he needed to freak out about it! And he was in the process of doing so, clutching onto his dog Loki, and keyboard smashing on literally every social media website he’d had an account for. That was until Harry burst into his room of their shared apartment, assaulting him with clothes he randomly picked from his closet, practically shoving them onto his body without even giving him a minute to breathe let alone take off the clothes he was already wearing. 

Liam had begged, pleaded, he even turned to bribery promising that he would wash all of Harry’s clothes for a week, which were mostly his own considering Harry was a thief who had sticky fingers whenever it came to Liam’s things, but the curly haired boy wouldn't relent. Telling Liam he could either walk out of the apartment willingly or he would grab Loki’s leash and drag him out that way. The latter of the two seeming to please Harry more than he let on so Liam had quickly jumped up onto his feet and made his way out the door, Harry excitedly following behind him.

So that was how he found himself at some party, whose he hadn't had the slightest clue, leaning against the wall feeling the vibrations of whatever song that was playing pulse through the house, drink clutched in both of his hands that Harry had given him when they first stepped through the threshold. Harry had ditched him early on telling Liam that if he didn't loosen up and have a little fun he was going to go back into his room and burn all of his Hawkeye comics, knowing that those were his most precious. Most people didn't see anything special about the blonde archer but somehow Liam related to him a little bit. Good intentions but somehow fucking up most of the time, but at the end of the day things weren't as shitty as they could have been.

Harry couldn't honestly have been serious about going through with his threat, right? Well Liam’s about to just suck it up and risk it, sorry Clint, when a pair of honey brown eyes catch his attention.

The thing is Liam’s never really found brown eyes appealing, especially his own. There’s nothing really special about them, somehow always looking the same shade of dirty muddiness, _is muddiness even a word? _Whatever not the point of the moment, the point he’s trying to make is that he’s never seen brown eyes as anything special. Until now.__

__Eyes are what he first notices. These eyes are something he’s never really seen before; a kaleidoscope of something breath taking that he can’t even describe almost with the way the light was reflecting them. Looking a light honey shade of brown that for some reason immediately think of Winnie the Pooh and a hazel green color the next. Liam wonders what other colors he’d find hidden in those eyes with a closer look._ _

__As if reading his mind the stranger offers him an almost shy smile, one side of his mouth tilted upwards before tilting his head back as if to gesture him to come over._ _

__Liam furrows his thick brows looking behind himself because surly that invite was geared towards someone behind him right and not at him right? That’s when Liam remembers that his back is against a wall and that there is no way someone could be behind him. The familiar rush of heat fills his cheeks and for a second he debates just facing the wall and pretending he didn't see the boy at all. As a matter of fact Liam is considering how long it would be for the whole party to clear out so that he can make his leave like none of this ever happened when he feels a gentle tap on his shoulder._ _

__He turns around so quickly that a bit of his drink spills over the rim of the red solo cup and onto the shirt he’s wearing._ _

__“Damn it,” he whispers under his breath pulling the soiled fabric away from where it’s sticking to his skin. A quiet chuckle reminds him of the reason he even turned around in the first place and when he looks up he’s once again met with those honey brown eyes._ _

__This close he can now see that those eyes that had him for a split second had him considering a switch in majors, something along the lines of Poetry and Literature even though he was completely shit when it came to things like books and words, were framed by thick dark lashes that had him widening his own eyes for a minute, because wow. Part of him wanted to ask if those were his actual lashes or if he’s wearing the false ones he’d seen his sister applying when they both lived in the same house and were forced to share a bathroom._ _

__His favorite part about them though, aside from the color he vowed to look up online the minute he got the chance when he got home, is the tiny little eye freckle resting against the iris of his left eye. He didn't even know eyes could have freckles, he’d only ever seen them on cheeks before and yet here this boy was. Something so small and practically completely mesmerizing him, starting to make him feel like he was in one of those Stranger Than Fiction situations and someone decided to write him in some cheesy romance novel._ _

__When he pulled his attention away from that little freckle another silent wow voiced inside his head as he took in the rest of this…boy didn't even seem like a good enough word. It actually seemed like an insult compared to this…this…model? Greek God? Man of all of his future wet dreams?_ _

__He had a head of dark hair that was done up in some sort of messy look that you could only achieve with lots of time and lots of product. On anyone else it would almost seem pretentious but on him, he made it look effortlessly like that hairstyle was created just for him. His skin was a soft tan color, brought out even more by the red t-shirt he was currently wearing and it made Liam want to reach out just to feel it against his own._ _

__“Hey, sorry about that,” His accent was thick and once again so perfectly him. “Didn’t mean to mess up your shirt.”_ _

__Liam found himself shaking his head, still somewhat entranced by this person before him, before snapping out of it and using his words like a normal human being would. “Hey don’t worry about it, this shirt has seen much worse than this, a little beer is nothing.”_ _

__God why did Liam say that? Now this guy probably thinks he’s some slob who just has the inability to function like a normal human being long enough to keep his clothes clean. Good job, Liam. Making a great first impression._ _

__Instead of the disgust or the immediate disinterest Liam expects, he’s met with another soft smile that seem to brighten up his whole face and Liam’s not ashamed to admit he melts a little on the inside._ _

__“I hear ya; if you got a look inside my laundry basket well…you probably wouldn’t want to be talking to me anymore.” Beautiful Stranger says, reaching one hand up to scratch at the back of his neck sheepishly._ _

__“I doubt that,” Liam replies, shocking himself with how much he absolutely means it._ _

__Those eyes meet his with a look that Liam doesn’t really understand at the moment, but he finds himself really wanting to, and he’s 100% sure if he has a mirror pointed at himself, he’d find the same exact look on his own face. A small genuine smile graces his lips as the two of them share a moment, somehow feeling completely alone together in a room of probably a hundred dancing and laughing people._ _

__“I’m Liam by the way,”_ _

__“Zayn,”_ _

**_Small talk, he drives, coffee at midnight_ **

A small annoying buzz is what pulls Liam out of his sleep. At first he’s confused because one minute he’s dreaming about a certain honey eyed brunet and the next he’s in his bed, Loki’s fur tickling his nose from where he’s curled up on the pillow next to him. 

The buzzing sounds again and Liam now realizes it’s his phone. Groaning softly at being rudely woken up from a very nice dream he gathers from the fuzzy bits he remembers, he blindly reaches an arm out to grab his phone from where it sits on the nightstand next to his bed. After some minor fumbling he finally locates it and brings the iPhone up to his face, not thinking when he clicks the button and is immediately blinded by the bright light.

Groaning once again he rubs at his eyes trying to ease some of the discomfort before blinking a couple times and brings the screen to his face once more. 

_B ready in 5 – Z_

Be ready? Be ready for what? Be ready to go back to sleep? Because that’s exactly what he intended to do. The thought of leaving his warm bed at this time of night—which Liam checks it’s 11:45 at night, what the hell is Zayn even doing up right now he has classes in the morning—is literally the last thing he wants to do at the moment. But the thought of spending some time with Zayn has him intrigued so he replies with a simple “ _?????_ ” 

After a minute or two and no new reply Liam huffs out an annoyed sigh, rolling out of bed and almost landing on his face with an undignified yelp. When he rights himself it seems he’s woken Loki up and he’s no more pleased that he is at the idea of waking up right now with the glare he’s currently getting. Wait, can dogs even glare? Liam didn’t know but he was pretty sure that’s what Loki was doing right now. 

With a light scratch between the soft fur of his ears in apology Liam makes his way over to his dresser, quickly pulling out the first things he sees not even caring what they are. When he’s finally dressed and situated in the simple sweatpants and t-shirt combo, he slips his feet in his sneakers resting by the door and quietly grabs his keys before exiting his room and then the apartment.

Liam is forever grateful that the weather outside isn’t too chilly because if he was not only woken up out of his sleep but forced to stand outside in the cold weather just because Zayn had the crazy idea to go on some midnight adventure…well he would not be a happy camper. 

For all his silent complaining and grumbling Liam was still curious as to what Zayn had in store for the two of them. It also brought a warm feeling of satisfaction in the pit of his stomach that out of anyone he could have texted he’d chosen Liam. Though it had only been a few months since that night Harry had dragged him out to that party, there simply was something about the other boy. The two of them just clicked as cheesy as it sounded. It was so easy to talk to Zayn once he’d gotten over the initial intimidation that were his looks and he’d realized that he was just a weirdo like him.

A hot weirdo though, an incredibly hot weirdo who liked to finger paint sometimes when he was bored, and do these little dances when the two of them were alone even though he was a horrid dancer, never able to find the beat it seemed. It never failed to pull a laugh out of Liam, and could debate with him for hours over the relevance of Tony Stark’s presence in literally every single movie in the MCU, which he agreed was getting to be a bit much. 

There were some days that he would wonder if he was even a real person. And why he would be wasting his time on someone as ordinary as Liam.

Liam’s pulled out of his thoughts when a small black car that he knows used to belong to Zayn’s mother, rolls to a stop directly in front of him. Stepping forward he quickly opens the door and slides into the passenger seat automatically reaching to buckle himself in. His mom always taught him safety first.

Turning towards Zayn with a raised eyebrow. “Okay I’m here, now what?”

His only response is being handed a cup of coffee that warms his hands and a slightly crooked smile he’d grown terribly fond of, before Zayn is shifting the car back into drive and pulling away from the curb.

The drive to wherever the hell Zayn is taking him is spent in a comfortable silence, the only sound from the engine and the low crooning voice of Drake filtering out through the car speakers. Liam tries to look outside the window for some type of clue as to where they’re going but gives up after a minute when he seems to have absolutely no idea, deciding to just enjoy the company and the ride.

After a few minutes of driving Zayn pulls them into what appears to be an abandoned parking lot and parks in the dead center of it. Liam looks around looking for some sort of attraction or reason for the two of them being here but all he sees is empty pavement and lots of trees against one edge of the lot.

Turning towards Zayn he raises a skeptical eyebrow at him. “If you’ve brought me here to murder me a dispose of the body I’ll have you know that Loki will exact my revenge.”

Zayn throws his head back against the head rest and laughs, turning towards Liam with a fond look that reads “ _You’re so silly, Liam_ ”

“All I have to do is bribe Loki with a few of those biscuits he loves so much and he’ll be like ‘Liam who?’” Zayn replies matter-of-factly.

Liam would like to think his dog loves him and values his life more than a few simple treats but he knows Zayn is probably right so he resorts to his next comeback. Sticking his tongue out at Zayn which causes the boy to erupt in another laugh and him to join in as well.

“Really though, what are we doing here?” Liam asks after the two of them have calmed down. A small voice deep in the back of his head makes the connection and wonders if this is some type of secret make out point he’d heard about in literally every teen movie he’d ever watched with his sisters. A light blush dusts against his cheeks as he quickly dismisses that thought.

“I just needed to get out of the studio, you know? This project is driving me absolutely crazy, I’m pretty sure I was one second of going a bit loony and doing something crazy like try and eat my paints.” 

“Or cut your ear off like that Play-Doh guy.”

Zayn gives him another look before shaking his head fondly. “It’s Van Gogh, babe.”

“Oh, I totally knew that.” Is Liam’s only reply as he tries to calm his heart down at the affectionate nickname. It was something Zayn had started about a month ago and no matter how many times Liam heard it, it never failed to get a reaction out of him.

“Oh I’m sure,” Zayn teases before taking a sip of his own coffee.

Liam fiddles with the lid of the cup in his own hands before speaking again. “Why here though?” Why with me though? He also wants to question, but keeps that part to himself.

Zayn shrugs a shoulder before leaning forward, resting his arms on the steering wheel and looking out through the windshield. “It’s kinda nice. All peaceful and shit, you know? Plus out here you can see the stars more than you can in the city and looking at them just somehow clears your mind but at the same time fills it with so many questions. Look up.”

Liam obeys and leans forward looking up through the windshield and he realizes Zayn is right. When he was a kid he was ever one to really just lie in the grass and stare at the sky, but in that moment he can definitely see the appeal. The way the dark blue sky seems to go on and on with twinkling little lights, almost making him feel small but not in a bad way. Like he’s just one little part of something big.

Zayn leans closer to him and brushes their shoulders together, pulling Liam’s eyes away from the sky and onto those honey eyes that look even darker in the night. There’s a small glinting of light reflecting off of one of the necklaces Zayn has wrapped around his neck and Liam once again feels small. So small compared to this beautiful person next to him who’s smiling at him like he’s the only person he’d want to share something like this with and it fills him up with some emotion he doesn’t feel he has the capacity to understand at the moment. But it consumes every fiber of his being.

“Yeah I get exactly what you mean.”

**_Morning, his place, burnt toast, Sunday_ **

Liam blinks blearily at the shiny metal toaster sitting on the kitchen counter, only partially taking in the red heat shining in the slots while the bread browns. He leans an elbow on the counter, resting his chin on his open palm and lets his eyes close. Just sleep for a little while more, he thinks.

He should have known staying up with Zayn and Harry until six in the morning on some stupid mission to see if they could finish every movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe before the premiere of Age of Ultron next week but hey, they were really excited and wanted to refresh their minds of what happened. Well more so he and Zayn, Harry was just along for the ride it seemed because he passed out on the floor snoring softly halfway through Iron Man 3. 

Despite that Zayn and Liam powered through, the two had lay curled close together on his small twin bed, knees, elbows, hands, feet basically every body part occasionally brushing against the other in some way. The warmth of Zayn a constant reminder to him that made sure he could never really relax during the night. Whenever he would come close to it Zayn was always just there. Breath brushing against Liam’s ear whenever he leant forward to make some observation to Liam or point out some Easter egg he’d noticed and wanted to make sure Liam did as well. Or whenever something exciting happened Zayn’s hand would reach out to grip whatever part of Liam was closest to it. Once his shoulder. Another time his bicep. The worst of all though, his hip.

It so agonizingly intoxicating being so close to Zayn and having his hands all over him, even though it was only in innocent circumstances. It made his mind wander to possibilities of those same hands lightly running along every inch of his body with intent on being well, not so innocent. Fun fact though, getting a semi while almost pressed against one of your best guy friends, not actually fun at all. 

Thank god for half naked Chris Hemsworth though, because without him to blame the situation on things could have gotten really awkward.

The sound of padding of feet against the tile floor alerted Liam to someone else in the kitchen with him. Lazily turning around to greet, more likely grunt, at the newcomer when the sight he was met with had his eyes widening the slightest bit.

Zayn stands before him, yawning loudly hair a mess on his head making him look like a little lion roaring, hand lifting up his shit (Liam’s shirt from last night actually) scratching at the dark wispy hairs that surrounded his belly button making Liam’s mouth dry up the slightest bit. His eyes followed down the trail to where it disappeared beneath the black boxers he’s wearing. This is all way too much to bombard Liam when he’s not even fully coherent. 

It takes him a minute to realize Zayn is actually saying something to him, focusing too much on the little black heart against that tan skin that has him wondering if he has slight cannibalistic tendencies with the way he just wants to taste the tattooed skin.

“Whaa?” Liam questions as articulately he can after being basically assaulted with the image that is Zayn.

“I said is something burning?” Zayn repeats, his voice all gruff and scratchy that just makes Liam want to curl up back into his bed with him, the two of them wrapped in a blanket together and never get up.

It takes a minute for Liam to register the words spoken to him and when he does that’s when the awful smell of burnt toast filters into his nose.

“Oh shit, shit, shit!” Liam whispers under his breath as he turns around to quickly pop the lever up, revealing two almost completely blackened pieces of bread.  
Sadness swells up inside him as he drops his forehead against the counter, a little too harshly actually as he reaches a hand up to rub gently at the wounded area. Not only could he not make toast right, but he also couldn’t sulk dramatically at his failure either. _Good job, Liam._

A tender hand is placed on the center of his back, rubbing small gentle circles that relax him slightly as he leans back into the touch.

“Babe it’s okay, it’s only bread. Besides they aren’t even burnt all that bad. Still edible,” Zayn reassures him, using his other hand to reach for one of the mentioned pieces of bread, Liam’s eyes following his hand as Zayn took a huge bite out of one of the corners. “See?”

He’s aware that Zayn is only trying to spare his feelings, he’s not blind to the slight distaste he can read on his face as he tries to swallow around the dry burnt bread, but it still makes him smile. That was just Zayn’s thing it seemed, somehow convincing Liam that he hadn’t fucked up even though it was so clear that he had. It was just like the time the two of them had been fooling around in Zayn’s studio, throwing paints of a pair of canvases trying to make “art”. And while Zayn’s turned out to actually look like something that people would hang in a gallery his literally looked like the ugliest pigeon he’d ever seen. He was actually trying to paint Loki. But Zayn was there, telling him that it had potential and that it was a Liam Payne Original so of course he loved it. 

Or even one of the first times they’d hung out and he’d made the mistake of ordering pepperoni pizza, completely slipping his mind when Zayn told him that he and his family didn’t eat pork. He’d felt so bad, because what kind of friend forgets something as important as his friends religious beliefs like that? But there was Zayn once again, telling Liam that it was okay and didn’t mind calling the pizza place back and ordering another one that he could eat.

Zayn always seemed to be aware of Liam’s feelings and cared enough to make sure that he was never sad, or hurt, or angry. And even if he was he was also always there to tell him that it was okay to feel those things sometimes, so long as he didn’t let them consume him.

It was one of those things that made him feel so blessed basically to have someone like Zayn in his life, and at the same time make him feel so undeserving. Because while he was offering him so much just with his very presence, Liam felt that the scales were uneven. What did he have to offer back? That’s not to say that Liam thought he was a shit friend, he knew he was far from it. But being a good friend and being someone’s rock were two completely different things, and that’s exactly what Zayn was to him. His rock, and he wanted so desperately to be the same for Zayn.

Liam smiles sheepishly at Zayn before ducking his head slightly, mouth twisting to the side as he looks at their feet, Liam’s spread wide and Zayn’s almost fitting between them.  
“I just wanted to make you some toast since I know you’re a right wreck without coffee in the morning, and since we’d run out of coffee last week I’d figured toast would have to do. Because who messes up toast, right? Me apparently.” He shrugs one of his shoulders.

Zayn reaches out a finger, pressing it against the underside of Liam’s chin before pushing upwards bringing his head with it, forcing their eyes to meet. “Liam it’s okay, you didn’t have to do that at all and you still did. I’ll take your burnt toast any day, babe.”

Liam searches those eyes he’s become so accustomed to since the two of them met at that party all those months ago, looking for any sign of insincerity and of course he finds none. He didn’t really expect to in the first place. 

A hesitant smile forms on his face as he bends one of his knees forward to knock against the other boy’s which brings out that smile that he loves so much. 

Their moment is broken though as Harry stumbles into the kitchen rubbing at his tired eyes. “Liam did you burn something?” He asks which makes Liam and Zayn erupt into light giggles that has Harry looking at the two of them like they’ve lost their minds.

And maybe they have a little bit.

**_You kiss on sidewalks, you fight, then you talk_ **

“Zayn will you just wait one minute!” Liam calls after Zayn, rushing to button up his coat before he follows the brunet outside into the cold February weather. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets to keep them warm because he didn’t really have time to think about his gloves when he’d seen Zayn stomping angrily out of Harry’s birthday party.

As per usual Zayn doesn’t really listen to him being the stubborn asshole he can be and continues to stalk down the sidewalk pretending Liam never even spoke. Liam picks up his pace into a light jog, breath puffing out into little clouds as he catches up to Zayn, reaching a hand out to stop him from moving any farther.

The look he’s met with has him immediately dropping his hand as if he’d been burned, but he still stood his ground in front of Zayn blocking his pathway. The anger in those honey eyes seemed almost unnatural, like nothing but warmth and happiness and a bunch more adjectives that Liam couldn’t even think of at the moment with Zayn glaring him down like he was. Not taking away the beauty Liam always found there, but somehow making it cold and hard.

“What do you want, Liam?” The words are cold just like his eyes making Liam twist his fingers together nervously.

“I…I just wanted to talk.” Liam mumbled underneath his breath.

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say though because it has Zayn’s expression hardening even more as he lets out a humorless snort. 

“Oh so now he you want to talk?” He asks rhetorically. “Well I wanted to talk to you since two fucking weeks ago but I wasn’t awarded an opportunity because every call went unanswered and every damn text I sent went ignored. So forgive me if I don’t give you the opportunity you didn’t give me.”

He shoulders past Liam and continues on the path he was going before he had stopped him which causes Liam to panic. He can’t let Zayn walk away because something about this moment just feels so final. Like if he lets him get away that might be the last time he ever sees the boy again. He thought of that has Liam’s heart clenching so tightly he actually reaches a hand up to grip at his chest through the thick wool of his coat.

Without thinking Liam reaches his hand out again pulling on Zayn’s own turning him around and before Zayn can say anything he seals their mouths together.  
Realization hits him at what he’s doing and he quickly pulls back, almost slipping on a piece of icy sidewalk. When he rights himself he looks at Zayn with wide scared eyes, hands shaking at his sides not at all due to the cold.

He’s in shock, he thinks, because he’d frozen in horror thinking about what he’d just done. Like he literally couldn’t move even if he wanted to. He’d ruined everything, oh god. This was the exact reason he’d been avoiding Zayn for the past two weeks. In hopes of preventing him from doing something stupid like he’d just done.

He’d gotten to the point where it was physically paining him to be around Zayn and not be able to do all the things he wanted nothing more than to do, like kiss those pretty pink lips. Things that he once enjoyed were absolute acts of torture. Watching him work on his art projects, pure concentration, pink tongue peeking out to wet dry lips before taking them into his mouth slightly to nibble on them as he decide what to do next.

Liam wanted nothing more than to rip those lips from between Zayn’s teeth and replace them with his own. Too many times he’d wondered how soft they would be. They’d exchanged a couple of kisses on the other’s cheeks when they were feeling a bit silly, but Liam knew that a simple brush against a cheek was nothing compared to the taste and feel he’d get with them pressed against his own.

It was thoughts like that made him decide that maybe it was best if the two of them spent a little time apart. Like that would make all these thoughts fade away and he could go back to not thinking about the possible sounds his friend would make with his mouth wrapped around his cock, sucking him through an orgasm.

He quickly found out though that it didn’t help at all, in fact it made it a hell of a lot worse. He found himself constant thinking about what Zayn was up to, and if he was okay. If he was remembering to eat because Liam knew all too well when he finds his “muse” things like the need for food tended to get put on the back burner. But he was determined to wait it out, because not being around Zayn permanently just because he couldn’t control his dick or his emotions was just not an option. 

With all that going on though he’d completely forgotten about Harry’s birthday party he was throwing in their apartment and he didn’t even think about Zayn being there, though of course he would be, he was Harry’s friend too.

Seeing him after that time apart seemed to bring all the feelings he had before back with an even stronger force, and instead of going up to Zayn and just talking to him like he should have he decided to be a coward and ignore him.

Before when he was doing it over the phone he had the benefit of not seeing how this was affecting Zayn, but being in the same room with him he wasn’t afforded the same luxury. He could clearly see the initial hurt on Zayn’s face but after a while that hurt soon turned to anger that had him stomping out the door and bringing them to the situation that they were currently in.

“I—I—I—I—” He stammers out but not fully able to make any words form from his mouth.

Zayn holds up one gloved hand quickly shutting him up without saying anything. He just calmly regards Liam. The earlier anger and chilliness seems to have evaporated bringing back a tiny it of the warmth again in his eyes.

“I don’t wanna hear anything but the answer to the question I’m about to ask, you understand?” Zayn questions raising an eyebrow waiting for some sort of acknowledgement. When he doesn’t get it he speaks again. “Nod Liam.”

Liam moves his head up and down silently.

“Now, I want you to tell me why you were ignoring me, and don’t bother saying you weren’t because you and I both know that’s exactly what you were doing.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Liam shoves his hands into his pockets before trying to gather his thoughts together. Liam stringing words together into something meaningful and articulate was never his strongest suit, and right now he needed that skill more than ever. How was he supposed to make Zayn understand everything he’d been feeling while they were apart and not hate him? Liam didn’t know and he didn’t think Zayn would let him stall this conversation any longer so he just went for it, saying whatever came to his mind first.

“It all just became too much. I couldn’t be around you anymore and just be your friend because somewhere along the line that just wasn’t enough for me anymore and all I could think about was kissing you and touching you but it wasn’t all just sexual because there were times I found myself just wanting to do stupid things with you like go to the market and hold your hand and meet your parents and even dumb stuff that no one wants to do like go to the DMV. Who even wants to go to the DMV voluntarily, no one that’s who, but just knowing that you would be there made it something that I didn’t even mind and all of those thoughts were just becoming so overwhelming and I knew you didn’t feel the same about me so I thought if we spent—”

His rambling is cut off once again by Zayn’s hand lifting up to shush him.

“So you’re telling me, you ignored me for two weeks all because you wanted to what? Be my boyfriend?” Zayn asks incredulously.  
Liam looks down at his feet and shuffles them a little but before nodding.

“You’re such a fucking idiot.” He hears and snaps his head up to give Zayn a wounded look but he doesn’t really get the chance because Zayn is invading his space and rejoining their lips.

It takes a minute for everything to register with Liam but when it does his hands pull out of his pockets and automatically wrap around Zayn’s narrow waist, pulling him even closer against him.

Kissing Zayn is nothing like he imagined really. His lips aren’t all that soft, they’re a little bit chapped actually, and their noses knock together awkwardly at first before they find their rhythm, but Liam finds himself not really minding all that much. Chapped lips and all it’s still better than anything his mind could have come up with. Zayn is an attentive kisser, just like Liam assumed he would be. Always giving Liam what he thought he needed, whether that was the slight nip at his bottom lip or a warm tongue sliding against his own, and even a gentle brush of his thumb against the stubble he’d been growing out on his cheek.

Liam couldn’t even begin to describe the feelings coursing through him in that moment but if he absolutely had to the one he was feeling most was just finally.  
Zayn pulled back with a small lingering peck before looking into Liam’s eyes with a wide blissed out smile that he was sure was mirrored on his own lips.

“Just in case you think skull didn’t get that hint, I like you too dumbass.” Zayn whispered, even though he had no reason to considering the late hour and everyone was in their warm houses instead of kissing outside in the cold like the weirdos they were.

For the first time in the past two weeks Liam let himself relax, sinking into Zayn’s arms pushing their foreheads together, feeling the chilled skin against his own as he looked into those eyes seeing nothing but happiness and affection and something he wasn’t exactly ready to name yet.

He wrapped his arms tighter around this boy who had suddenly become his whole world and hummed out a soft content sigh.

“Good,” Was his only reply before sealing their lips together once more.

**_He keeps a picture of you in his office downtown_ **

Key in hand, Liam inserts it into the lock of the large metal door, the familiarity striking him as he opens and pushes into the room that is Zayn’s studio. Coming into this space gives Liam a feeling almost like he’s entering his own home. Like it’s not only something he associates with just being the place Zayn goes to work on his art, but also something that’s him as well. All the times over the past three years he’d shown up here just watch Zayn work and keep him company and then later after they’d gotten together, it’s purpose also became a place for the two of them to be alone when Harry decided to stay in the apartment.  
It had taken Liam literally days to scrub paint from places paint should never ever be.

Liam expected to see Zayn hard at work, face full of that serious concentration as he brought whatever image was floating inside his head to life on the blank canvas. But instead he finds the place empty of him, making him frown in the slightest bit. He’d been looking forward to surprising Zayn with lunch while Liam was on break, something he’d found himself doing quite often actually. It was either that or spend his whole afternoon receiving frowny face texts from his boyfriend because he’d been so caught up in his work he forgot to eat lunch again.

Deciding to just wait until he came back, Liam brought the food that he was currently carrying—chicken tacos and cilantro rice which happened to be Zayn’s favorite—over to the workstation. This of course is littered with pieces of paper with half-finished sketches on them along with empty coffee cups and candy wrappers that had Liam rolling his eyes fondly. Pushing aside some of the papers and cups to make room for the food something catches his eye.

Setting the food down Liam reaches out to pick up the metallic photo frame that he could have sworn wasn’t there the last time he was there, but then again it could have just been hidden under all the junk that Zayn swears he needs every time Liam brings it up. In the frame sits a photo of the two of them from what seems to be the day of the party that Harry dragged him to that feels like almost a lifetime ago.

Zayn standing with his arms open wide and tongue stuck out between his lips making a face for the camera and Liam sitting on the edge of the couch next to him, watching him with a wide smile and those crescent moon eyes, as Zayn liked to call them. Looking up at this boy he’d just met having no idea what was held in store for the two of them but already so inexplicably trusting and showing signs of feelings Liam wasn’t even aware of at that time.

Suddenly a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind and a bony chin covered in facial hair is pressing into his shoulder. Liam doesn’t even have to turn around to see who it is before he’s leaning back, relaxing into the embrace. 

“We looked so young back then, you especially with your baby face.” Zayn’s voice whispers into his skin, reaching one hand to stroke along Liam’s cheek and Liam bats away his hand, elbowing him in the side lightly.

“Shut up I was cute. I still am cute.” He pokes his bottom lip out in a playful pout that has Zayn slightly laughing under his breath.

Liam’s eyes catch on the picture and he studies it for a minute before asking. “Where did you get this? I don’t remember seeing it in here before, and I’m practically here as much as you are.”

Zayn is silent as he takes the picture from Liam’s hands, pulling away from Liam so he can lean against the work bench, back pressed against the lightly colored wood facing outwards towards Liam.

“I’ve had it ever since, actually.” Zayn speaks lowly, almost as if he’s afraid of spooking Liam, thumbing at the edge of the metal frame as he keeps eye contact with Liam.

Liam’s speechless for a moment. The thought of Zayn just holding onto a picture of the two of them for all these years, even during the time when the two of them were nothing more than just friends. 

It makes him wonder if somehow even back then, Zayn felt something between the both of them that was somehow bigger than just two different people who managed to meet one night and change both their lives without even trying. With something simple as a look across a room at a party he didn’t even want to go to.

Deciding not to ask any of that, Liam instead pulls his slender counterpart against him. Arms wrapped around him with so much care and protectiveness like he’s holding everything he’s ever considered important to him in his arms, and in a way he is. Because ever since that fateful day all that time ago Zayn had somehow become Liam’s whole world, which sounds incredibly cheesy but who cares because it’s true and he knows he’ll never be able to replay Harry for forcing him out of his room that day. Because if he hadn’t…well that’s not even a thought Liam wants to entertain well, ever.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Zayn questions, a confused smile gracing his lips.

Liam ignores him in favor of bringing their lips together, his smooth ones against Zayn’s slightly chapped ones because no matter how many chapsticks Liam buys him, Zayn always manages to lose them or just plain out not use them. It’s a battle he really doesn’t care all that much to fight, not when he has Zayn’s lips pressed against his own, chapped or not, his life is still everything he could have dreamed of.

Of course that’s the moment Zayn’s stomach decides to let its presence be known with a loud hungry growl that has Zayn pulling back slightly and offering Liam a sheepish smile.  
“You brought me lunch, right?” He widens his eyes, knowing how much they affect him because Liam made the mistake of telling Zayn how much he loves them one night, and tilts his head to the side. Looking far too cute for someone who has a full beard is allowed to look.

Shaking his head in mock exasperation, Liam reaches past Zayn to grab the bag of food he’d set down earlier, holding it out to Zayn who gives him a wide smile, small crinkles forming at the edge of his eyes.

“As if I’d ever forget.”

**_One night he wakes, strange look on his face_ **

Liam’s not crazy about the ceiling above their bed.

Before the two of them had officially moved in they wanted to do some little renovations to make the place more of their own, and to Zayn that meant changing the ceiling design. Before, the design wasn’t really a design at all. It was a simple popcorn ceiling, little bumps and edges poking out. Liam hadn’t really minded all that much because in the grand scheme of things who really cares about what’s on the ceiling. Well apparently Zayn did so Liam let Zayn take him along to different tile and home improvement shops, showing him design after design until they all seemed to just look the same to Liam. 

At about the ninth store in one day Liam had just told Zayn that he would be happy with whatever he ended up picking and to surprise him. Probably not the best decision considering that Zayn’s decorating technique basically consisted of “shit that’s wicked” or “that’ll be so gangsta let’s do it”. 

So that’s how Liam ended up staring up at a zigzag type design with random black and red circles that seemed to not follow any sort of pattern. When he’d first seen it he thought about voicing his opinion, but just seeing the look on Zayn’s face, the excitement and underlying seeking of approval, well he couldn’t say no. He’d be a monster. So he kept his mouth shut as the two of them spent the day scraping the ceilings smooth so that they could lay the design over the newly flattened surface. Hoping that it would just be something he’d get used to. 

Lying in bed staring up at it, it kinda reminds Liam of that one time Zayn had taken him to one of his friends gallery openings where he was forced to mingle with people who seemed to make him feel less than just for breathing. But he’ do anything for Zayn so he just took a minute to gather himself together and tried to understand whatever was said to him about the work being shown, when in reality it all just looked like a mess to him. People seemed to like it though, so it couldn’t have been all that bad could it?  
When Zayn had asked him what he thought so far Liam confessed his confusion, feeling like he’d somehow let Zayn down. Like he couldn’t understand what all those people around him seemed to be ranting and raving over, it made him feel stupid. And the last thing Liam ever wanted to be labeled as was someone stupid. He was aware that he wasn’t the most cultured person in the world, and maybe he wasn’t the smartest when he was in school, but that didn’t mean anything. He wasn’t anything less than anyone else.

Somehow like he usually did, because Liam was sure he had some superpower for knowing whatever he was thinking deep down, Zayn had just grabbed Liam’s hand in his warm one, giving it a gentle squeeze and a soft smile before leaning in to whisper in his ear that to be honest he didn’t really understand any of the shit going on either. He was just there as support, and hearing that made Liam feel so much better. 

After that the two of them went around to each piece and played a game like they were children looking up at the sky, trying to discern different shapes in the clouds. Trying to find whatever deeper meaning the artist had set out to display and making up their own. They’d gotten a few choice glares from the patrons whenever they would get too silly and giggle too loudly, but Liam didn’t care. Being with Zayn had that effect on him that he didn’t have to worry about what other people thought or said about him, because no one’s opinion mattered to him but the honey eyed boy next to him.

So that’s why he didn’t really put up much of a fuss about the choice of ceiling, because it clearly made Zayn happy to have it, and for him that’s all that mattered.  
And that’s why instead of focusing on the ceiling above, he turned his body to the side to face Zayn, expecting to find his sleeping face, those crazy long lashes splayed out casting shadows across his cheeks and mouth slightly open, but instead he finds Zayn awake looking back at him.

Liam takes a silent moment to just stare at his face, the same face he’s seem almost every day for the past five years just about. Taking in every detail he knew like the back of his hand. Wild hair falling in front of his face, dusting lightly across his forehead just above thick dark eyebrows Liam found himself subconsciously reaching out to lightly trace with his thumb. Fully aware that Zayn was in fact awake and not sleeping, but still taking care to be gentle anyway.

Honey eyes that looked almost black in the dark room, only the light from the moon shining from the open curtains left to illuminate them so that he could only just barely make out the tiny eye freckle in Zayn’s left eye. 

“Hey,” Zayn whispers quietly, moving closer to Liam so that he could snuggle against his chest. Pressing his cold feet against Liam’s calf.  
“Well hello Sleeping Beauty,” Liam teases, pushing Zayn’s dark hair away from his forehead.

Zayn rolls his eyes in mock annoyance making a face at Liam. “Hey no name calling. I’ve earned my sleep we had a busy day today so cut me a little slack.”  
Liam smiles a warm smile before leaning in slightly, brushing his lips lightly against Zayn’s forehead. Not actually kissing, just holding him close and breathing him in. Closing his eyes for a minute, just enjoying the feeling of the two of them pressed against each other.

One of Liam’s hands finds its wait into Zayn’s hair, scratching gently at his scalp as he ran his fingers through the thick locks. Zayn lets out a content hum as he wraps an arm around Liam’s waist, trying to pull him even closer than the two already were.

Liam’s just about to drift off to sleep when he feels Zayn moving away slightly away from him. Liam opens his eyes to watch him and he finds Zayn staring at him with a somewhat strange look on his face.

“What?” Liam questions, eyebrows furrowing a little bit wondering what’s currently going through Zayn’s head.  
Zayn pauses for a minute before simply saying, “You’re my best friend, you know.” The way he says it leaves absolutely no room for doubt, not that Liam would have even doubted him in the first place. 

His words bring a fond smile to his face. “Well I hope we’re a little more than best friends or else it’s gonna be a little awkward when we go on our honeymoon tomorrow and I don’t think we can get out money back.”

Zayn rolls his eyes once more, this time biting at his bottom lip lightly and shoving at Liam’s shoulder. “I’m serious, you smartass.”

Liam grabs at both of Zayn’s hands, holding them against his chest, their newly placed rings knocking against each other.

“I know, you’re my best friend too. I always kind of thought it was a terrible cliché when I would hear talk about people falling in love with their best friends, but when you’re put in that situation yourself suddenly you start to think that maybe they were onto something.”

“Just maybe?” Zayn raises an eyebrow.

“Okay fine, a little more than maybe.” He responds, staring into Zayn’s eyes. “I love you.”

The smile Zayn gives him probably isn’t any different from all the hundreds, possibly thousands, of smiles he’s given him in the past, but that doesn’t mean anything to Liam because each and every one still manages to take his breath away. Making him have this almost invincible feeling knowing that he was the one who put it there. Liam thinks he could be ninety-eight years old, partially blind with all the other ailments that come with living a long full life and seeing Zayn smile will always make him feel like a young kid standing in that crowded room with loud music and people dancing around him, making eye contact with those honey irises and seeing that smile for the very first time.  


“I love you too, Liam, from the moment I accidentally made you spill your drink on your shirt.”

Before Liam can do something stupid like ruin the moment by crying, he removed his hands from on top of Zayn’s and uses them to frame his face so he can pull it back to his own, pressing sweet kisses all over his lips before moving onto any inch of his face he can reach. Zayn pretends he’s put off at first, swatting away his hands and grumbling under his breath, but his façade is ruined by the quiet giggles he releases during the process.

“Stop it, you’re worse than Loki with all your slobbery kisses.” Zayn laughs, finally extracting himself from Liam’s hold, but he doesn’t get very far before Liam’s leaning up to place one long wet lick along the side of Zayn’s face, feeling the hairs bristle against his tongue.

Zayn makes a disgusted sound before he’s rubbing Liam’s spit off with the back of his hand. When he’s done he throws a mock glare at Liam who responds with a wide shit eating grin. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Hey!” Liam protests, pouting slightly. “That’s Idiot Malik-Payne to you, bub.”

That has Zayn rolling his eyes fondly before grabbing his pillow and smashing it against Liam’s face, his loud laughs echoing throughout the room as he does so.  


Liam doesn’t even try to fight him off and he just lays there, listening to the happiness in the laughter coming from the man he loves, wondering how he could have ever gotten so lucky. Well he guesses he has Harry to thank for that, doesn’t he?

**Author's Note:**

> Ah well I really hope you guys enjoyed this little fic, I know that i enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you guys think and if you want to you can drop by my [tumblr](http://jafarzayn.tumblr.com/) to say hi or if you wanna chat about it :)
> 
> Also if anyone wants to see the picture I used as a reference for the one in the frame [here](http://media.tumblr.com/4ed2ab6a72d47916f06fc6ee5ee69031/tumblr_inline_ndpy8rxYUe1rf06dm.jpg) it is.


End file.
